Once a perpetrator gains their victim's trust through coercive tactics, the victim becomes a "complacent" victim, which means the victim is participating but not consenting. Consent can never be given with a clergy because of his position of power and authority over their congregants. For Orthodox Christian faithful, clergy stand-in as a reflection of Christ. This means consent is completely dissolved for the parishioner abused by the clergy.

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Offenders use "grooming" as a prelude to sexually assaulting and abusing their victim. Grooming is a method to build trust with a child, teen or adult with the intent to gain alone time and create a "special relationship" founded on manipulation. The cycle of abuse involves escalation, intermittent violence and small rewards to break down the sense of identity of the victim. Grooming can include gift-giving, asking for help with tasks, promises of reward, or the gradual erosion of boundaries.

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Examples of grooming/conditioning:

• Communicating at later hours or with more frequency

• Meeting up- initially this may be to collaborate on a project. Over time, there may be an offer to get lunch or coffee before or after the collaboration. Eventually there may be an invite just to coffee or for a meal, which may not raise the red flag that it would have since this may have become part of the working relationship. 

• Disclosing personal problems or marital problems- these may even be fabricated to some extent to elicit disclosure from the victim about marital problems or unhappiness

• Using the parishioner as a confidant- "I've never told anyone this, but..."

• Compliments

• Telling the victim what the victim's thoughts or intent is or was

• Dual relationship- the parishioner is invited into the clergyperson's life and family 

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Examples of negative responses (which are used only after a period of grooming, for greater effect): 

• Intermittent withdrawal

• Punishment- removal of victim from the task or job

• Providing negative feedback about the victim after a long period of positive affirmation- this can be disorienting, especially if the victim has come to rely on the person for pastoral or emotional support

• Comparison to others with the victim lacking, flawed or inadequate

The punishment/reward cycle functions to instill gratitude in the victim for the abuser talking to them. The coercive control involves (1) isolation of the victim, (2) degradation, and (3) forcing victim to violate their moral code (see the Milgram experiment on obedience to authority).